I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Randomize
