i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
