you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
