bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
