So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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