I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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