i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
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