the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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