i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize