If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I'm passing your future prison.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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