I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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