I want to have your abortion
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
