at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize
