You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
