Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
