Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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