So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
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