This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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