Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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