my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
