Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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