Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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