oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Hippo gnu deer
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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