Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
