I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
