Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
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Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize