Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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