you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
