lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
