Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
