are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
