I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
