PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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