can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Randomize
