well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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