hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
