When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
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