Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
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