Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Randomize
