She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
