two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
