yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
