Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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