Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize