I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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