My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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