I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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