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  • Hi, Billy Mays here with "Sex With an Ugly Girl." You've tried the hotties, now try the notties! When all you need is a good lay, try "Sex With an Ugly Girl!" But WAIT! Act now and we'll also send you an 18 year supply of "Broken Condom Blues" for FREE!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 17, 09 at 12:54pm
  • How about the shamwow guy?

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 17, 09 at 12:45pm
  • I would love to shake the hand of the OP. sometimes girls just cant get it through their heads, we got standards too.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 17, 09 at 12:45pm
  • billy mays can convince people to do things dead or alive. this man is magic.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 17, 09 at 4:27pm
  • This chick had better be a crazy bitch, or this guy's a serious dick.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 17, 09 at 9:12pm
  • It's too bad that Billy mays had to try a sample of the suicide putty... Only he could convince me to do shit Like the op.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 19, 10 at 4:29am
  • Sorry 4:11, 12:54 beat you to the infomercial joke...and his was way better.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 17, 09 at 4:56pm
  • I think 1254 is Billy Mays

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 17, 09 at 1:15pm
  • Well 3:19 Saw is dead too but he is still killing people

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 17, 09 at 4:15pm
  • Pretty fuckin harsh.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 17, 09 at 12:40pm
  • nice billy mays reference. Chipotleaway!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 17, 09 at 12:45pm
  • Call within the next 10 minuites and we will double the offer! That's 2 nights of regeret for the price of 1!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 17, 09 at 1:28pm
  • 12:54 is hilarious. 4:11 sucks

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 17, 09 at 6:08pm
  • Way to be a downer, 2:23

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 17, 09 at 3:19pm
  • Hahaha thats fucked up

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 18, 09 at 3:24pm
  • i bet a pretzel could.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 17, 09 at 5:21pm
  • maybe not billy mays, but the shamwow/slapchop guy could... definitely... Fourth! huh?

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 17, 09 at 12:45pm
  • "now we can't do this all night."

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 17, 09 at 4:59pm
  • Hahaha 12:54. That was awesome

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 17, 09 at 6:02pm
  • Hey brayden santavy

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 17, 09 at 12:41pm
  • No Billy mays will convince you to sleep with her

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 17, 09 at 1:29pm
  • Lol, Kansans. I can't wait to get out of this state, dude.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 18, 09 at 12:38am
  • ...Well, of course he can't. He's dead.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 17, 09 at 2:52pm
  • LOL. Billy Mays can't because, well.. he's dead.. but if he WAS alive, I'm sure he could :).

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 17, 09 at 3:19pm
  • 4:59, great spelling on "uterus," go die, the reason people are fucked up is because of people like you. Someone should put a 5.56x51mm NATO through your head.

    Submitted by appleshampoo342 on May 31, 10 at 11:14pm
  • Someone just watched south park

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 17, 09 at 1:59pm
  • That is pretty harsh. You sure she was ugly enough to warrant such a put down?

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 17, 09 at 1:06pm
  • billy mays was a fucking crackhead

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 17, 09 at 4:59pm
  • So you all know, Vince Shlomi is the ShamWow and Slap Chop guy.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 19, 09 at 12:10pm
  • these pretzels are making my vagina wet

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 17, 09 at 12:58pm
  • what a tool. and what a whore. you both deserve each other.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 17, 09 at 1:51pm
  • BACON IS GOOD FOR ME

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 18, 09 at 12:23am
  • It will be hard for Billy Mays to convince anyone to do anything, since he's DEAD!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 17, 09 at 2:23pm
  • Okay, I'm a girl and I usually don't find humor in jerks....but this was funny! LOL

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 17, 09 at 11:54pm
  • 456, agreed. The whole point of the text wasn't that Billie Mays needed to convince HER, he need to convince the OP.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 17, 09 at 5:37pm
  • Haha 1:51, thank you

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 17, 09 at 3:08pm
  • 4:59.. That's the sham wow guy.. Thanks for playing tho. Better luck next time

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 18, 09 at 1:26am
  • 1:26 ever heard of google you stupid fuck. 4:59 is right. Coke was involved in his death. Better luck next time you fucktard know-it-all. You ruin everything thing you touch and I hope you mothers uterous rots out her god forsaken gut.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 18, 09 at 7:36pm
  • Anyone who likes sunny in philladelphia blows dogs period

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 17, 09 at 7:33pm