brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
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