the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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