so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
