just come out here and I will go home with you...
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Randomize
