So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
