i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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