Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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