My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
you have to choose: penises or morals?
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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