Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
