tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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