So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
