Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I AM VODKA MAN
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could fuck to npr.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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