because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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