o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
