Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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