I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Is it penis luge time yet?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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