y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
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