you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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